Winter... And The Meaning of Life

My most loyal readers know how much I dislike winter and the colder weather it brings. Of course, I am writing this in the midst of the “storm of the century” where two feet is a realistic scenario. This is on top of the pre-Christmas blizzard where were received the early “gift” of a foot and a half of snow. So to say my Seasonal Affect Disorder has been exacerbated this season would be an understatement. Not to mention my recurring sinusitis and what appears to be the onset of mild arthritis in my knee. But what Mother Nature has brought us is only the literally icing on the cake of what has become a bittersweet time of year.

On the one hand, there are a few causes for celebration: the birthdays of my lady Cathy, my Mom (even though our relationship has deteriorated), and Martin Luther King. Ironically Rev. King and my mother share the same day. But immediately after those dates come some difficult reminders of loss, some of them very fresh. Cathy’s birthday is followed just two days later by that of her deceased son Tommy. By the time I finish writing this, it will be the first anniversary of the passing of Cathy’s aunt Beth whose birthday is a day later. It was a difficult time managing both our jobs with the canine legacies we temporarily inherited just as we had adopted two feline sisters. And those cats arrived in part because of the passing of my own feline buddy Homes two years ago this month.

Thinking about all this loss got me to thinking about death in general. People die every day, of course, in ways that are sudden and agonizingly slow, painful and peaceful. Besides the streak of celebrities that left in 2009, I’m also starting to experience the loss of people that were close to me. I’m starting to acknowledge the reality that both of my parents may not be here in the next ten years. And finally I came to the startling reality that I too am going to die...and that by some measures I may already be halfway there. And that makes me sad... and scared.

As you all know, I’m not particularly religious. So I have no idea what’s going to happen to me after I pass away. Truthfully, no one else really does either, although people’s faith tells them what they might expect. I guess that’s what faith really means: to believe that by following one’s spiritual beliefs that the next existence you’ve been promised will happen. Without that anchor, I’m left to ponder the meaning of life. How did I become fortunate (?) enough to born human? Was I a drop of water before? Will I be a frog next?

I now understand why some people start to have a “mid-life crisis”. But don’t worry; I don’t see myself hopping into a convertible with a Barbie riding shotgun. However, I have been in a slow if economy-hampered process of reinventing my career. Based on my intellectual potential, I’m probably “supposed” to be in middle-management now if not Vice-President of whatever company. Then again, I’ve been surprised by the paths taken by many of the high school alumni I’ve rediscovered on Facebook. So I don’t necessarily feel that “underachieving” is a bad thing. In fact, I’m probably happier now than if followed the so-called traditional path.

Still…I HATE winter.

Regular readers will probably rub their eyes a few times out of disbelief when they read the following statement:

Scott Brown deserved to win the special election for the Massachusetts Senate seat.

Not that I particularly supported his platform - although I appreciate that he's relatively moderate on some social issues - but because his opponent Martha Coakley basically treated the election as a coronation after winning the primary. (I mean, come on, going on vacation in the middle of a campaign??? Seriously???) And her making fun of Brown pounding the turf around Fenway Park? So yeah, Brown deserved to win. But I'm obviously not thrilled about it.

If anything, his imminent arrival may open Obama up to what I thought were some reasonable ideas from the Republicans in Congress. One being tort reform on doctor malpractice suits. As I may have said before - I'm too lazy to look back on here LOL - I think a cap on "pain and suffering" is reasonable since that is something that is not quantifiable. I don't think there should be a cap on paying for actual medical care as many medical misfortunes can last a lifetime.

I have mixed feelings on the idea of allowing insurance companies free reign on all fifty states. Granted, there are some states where the choices are few and the premiums are correspondingly high. However, I also foresee larger companies using their economies of scale to undercut smaller companies a la Wal-Mart, resulting in an oligarchy of companies.

So has Obama managed to do in only one year what took W a total of six? Well, I'll concede that regaining that 60th Senate seat is not realistic at this point. But I do think some honest attempt at common ground and compromise is good. Like I've said all along, one can draw many parallels between the behavior of certain principals during the previous administration and the complete flip-flop once the current administration began. It would be nice to know that both Democrats and Republicans have learned from being in each other's shoes. One can only hope.

Winter Sucks...

... but if you know me, you already knew this.

Still, there is a silver lining somewhere between the biting wind, the browning snow and the black ice.

For starters, I'm still employed. ***applause*** I'm certainly grateful for the opportunity to continue to get paid. However, I've discovered pretty quickly how truthful the recruiter and my then-future supervisors were when they told me the learning curve would be rather steep at the beginning. Well, I'm still very much in the "beginning" stage. It's stressful, to say the least. It's definitely motivated me to take more steps towards starting my small business.

Speaking of which, I've taken a few small but important steps towards starting said business. I applied for my federal EIN (Employee Identification Number) earlier in the week. Today I printed off some forms that I will have to turn in to the city. No need to register at the state level at this point, per their information.

The holidays were a time for Cathy and me to appreciate what we had; in other words, we were broke! LOL We were also dealing with nagging sinus issues that affected us in different ways. After I finally went to urgent care last Sunday, I'm taking some medication to address my "acute sinusitis". It's working pretty well so far. I'm looking forward to getting back in the gym and getting my "beach body" ready. (HA!)

As a belated holiday present to my regular readers, I will offer no political commentary in this thread. Happy New Year!

So far, so good with the new Justice gig. I already realize that I need to work on my concentration as the procedures are simultaneously complex and rote.

Thanksgiving was enjoyable down in South Carolina with my Dad and our extended family there. I try to cherish these gatherings nowadays, not only because my Dad, Aunts and Uncles are approaching an average age of 70, but also due to the untimely passing of one Aunt.

I decided to go "all in" with one of my favorite interests and devote the next few college semesters at NOVA to complete my certificate in Travel and Tourism. I figure in this economy, if you don't necessarily like what you're doing, you may as well pursue something you love. To hedge my bets, I will probably also pursue a certificate in Library Technology in preparation of a Master's in Library Science. But since libraries aren't exactly in a hiring boom these days, I'm in no rush to get started.

I'll say one thing, though: it felt good to be able by some new clothes for the job with the money that I earned from it.

So it finally looks as if I may have latched onto a long-term gig.

On Monday, I began my new role as a contractor with the Department of Justice. Without getting into any potentially classified details, let's just say I'm reconciling expense accounts. Not too difficult in theory but nonetheless I'm a bit anxious. I will have to learn a lot of new terminology and procedures. Even though I've been told by several that the learning curve usually lasts about three months, I do tend to be pretty demanding on myself for getting up to speed on things. I also would like to make a good impression as this kind of opportunity could open up other doors with the government. Having "cleared" the hurdle doesn't hurt in this area. It would be nice to slide over to the National Archives or Library of Congress one day.

It also feels good to make a more steady financial contribution to the household. Even though The Lady feels that I have contributed in other ways - I could have starred in "Househusbands of Northern Virginia" - I feel more independent and "manly" being able to win some of the bread myself.

I still don't think that I will retire as an accountant... but there are surely "worse" careers to be in these days.

Another Side Of Yours Truly

Hey Everyone,

I've created my new blog and even submitted my first post. While it's a little more elaborate than this one, the graphics are still a work in progress. In any case, here it is:

http://travelandmusicwithtony.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Something New

When I set out to start this blog, I didn't know what direction it would go in but I knew that it would be a place where I could express my political views without all the partisan rants from either direction that I read in many other blogs and forums. As it turns out, with the exception of a few posts about my "consulting" gigs, it's been pretty much a platform for me to express my liberal/progressive leanings.

However, out of my surely vast and loyal crowd of readers, I'd say at least 50% are afraid they might hurt my feelings, 25% could care less LOL and up to 25% are too busy with life to tend to their own blog let alone read mine.

So I've decided to go in a different direction... and a different blog. I'm still going to keep this one and make commentary when the mood strikes me. I don't want to publish yet another open diary for the masses... but I do think a more light-hearted approach might draw some interaction.

I'm thinking that the theme will be two of my biggest passions in life: travel and music. In particular, I think I will chronicle some tales from the Summer of Love Tour that Cathy and I ventured out for. I have a lot of (mostly illegible) notes from the trip and it would be nice to share them in print. Who knows... it may become a semi-professional marketing device for my future ambitions as a travel agent.

I'll probably need some help designing the cover page as you can obviously see I did not have any imagination - or skill - in designing this one. Anyone... can ya help a brotha out??? :)