George Will:Fashionista

(Channeling Larry The Cable Guy...)

I don't care what you say, that's funny right 'dere!

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Off The Hook

Progressives and Northern/West Coast states who wanted to move or secede to Canada after the 2004 elections are officially off the hook.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/APStories/stories/D97J48IO2.html

Texas Gov. Rick Perry fired up an anti-tax "tea party" Wednesday with his stance against the federal government and for states' rights as some in his U.S. flag-waving audience shouted, "Secede!"

I did predict something like this would happen... (See Bush, Part One.)

Breaking The Law - Part One

The first day on the new gig was cool... but I wouldn't be me if something strange didn't happen. At least it wasn't my fault this time.

I got there at 10:00am as requested only to find out that my lady manager J had called out due to a sudden asthma attack. Since she would be the one to train me, I wouldn't be needed until tomorrow. My future female cube-mate V said that left a message with the agency. I would have probably been underground by then, anyway. Still, I was perhaps a touch miffed that my recruiter hadn't at least attempted to leave a message with me. But when I called him to see about getting compensated for some of my time, he said he had not heard anything about the situation. But he apologized profusely and offered to pay me two hours' travel time at my assignment rate.

I then thought it might be a good idea to go pick up a timesheet from the agency and meet my recruiter. (I was referred to him by another branch office where I had already registered.) He suggested that I take the train for what would be a eight-minute ride. Instead, I decided to take advantage of a rare mild and sunny day and instead chose to walk. After a leisurely half-hour stroll, I entered the office only to have my recruiter tell me that my manager made it in after all and that I was welcome to come in today if I wanted.

Oh what the heck, I didn't have anything else planned so why not! :)

As it was now 11:30, I did ask for some time to eat my lunch before starting back up there which was granted without a problem. Unfortunately I ended up eating the "brown-bagger" on a windy bench as there was no park near enough and my legs, having also spent a half-hour on the recumbent bike this morning, were saying no mas. After some recovery time, I hopped on the Metro and finally started my workday.

The manager J was definitely happy to see me. It was a nice change of pace from Bipolar who, in retrospect, didn't even greet me with a smile when we first met. Apparently quite a mess was created by the person who previously held her position, so I was there to help her clean it up before the arrival of the auditors in two weeks. One of my biggest selling points reportedly was my experience on their accounting software which I had used for three years at my last permanent gig. J said that her knowledge of that software was pretty limited. Although it took me a few moments to get back to speed, I started paying dividends already when I showed J an easier way to find certain information without printing out extraneous amounts of paper. She was very happy about that. I also was able to point out some odd items on the bank account I was reconciling. So all in all, it was a good day. I managed a "three-fer": got some exercise, saw some sights and did some work... getting paid for it all the while! :)

Would You Care For A Spot of Tea?

The Working Wounded

Well, just twelve day after The Final Blowback - and perhaps a bit of exasperation - it looks like I will be rejoining the ranks of the working starting tomorrow and for another month, maybe two.

I'll be doing similar accounting work for yet another association in DC. The pay is the same, more or less. (Actually less... but why quibble about another $20. With the last gig, the difference between a full work week and just two hours less actually put me in another tax bracket every time I worked a full-week. I think I need to attend a Tea Party... ha!) It's a small company - a dozen or so - whose sole accountant needs help preparing stuff for their audit. I also happen to have the experience on a certain accounting software that their number cruncher concedes she lacks. I'm supposed to be there until at least the end of May when the audit is expected to end. Depending on how much work is left afterwards and/or how much they like me, I may be asked to stay right up to mid-June, which would be exactly what I had planned for. But considering the last situation, I'm going to be conservative (ha! again) and assume that I'll be finishing up by Memorial Day.

Of course the main benefit - besides not starving, of course - is that I'll be able to do my part in contributing to the big Summer of Love Road Trip coming up in about two months. I was getting a bit concerned but thankfully fate came through in the clutch!

On the other hand, I have a nagging neck and shoulder strain stemming from a workout last Friday morning. It hurt like Slash until I actually got some relevant and useful advice from my Mom to take some pain reliever for the inflammation. Between that and some heating pads that Cathy has been applying on me, the pain has generally lessened over the last few days although it seems to be making a bit of a comeback today. In retrospect, perhaps practicing the piano yesterday wasn't a good idea. For that matter, typing this blog probably isn't either.

I guess I'll be going now...

PS: Shout out to Atlanta Braves' pitcher Tom Glavine who has a rotator cuff injury. I literally feel your pain. I'm not ready to retire, either.

Breaking Wind 4 - The Final Blowback

April Fools' Day came one day early for me last week.

On the afternoon of March 31st, I went into the office of my immediate supervisor, whom we shall now refer to as Bipolar, to discuss a task with her. While giving me the information I needed, she casually mentioned the fact that this was my last week. I was stunned for a couple reasons. For one, I was told by my recruiter that the assignment would last until May. For another, I was essentially given three days notice. I would have thought that professional courtesy would have dictated at least one week's notice, if not even two, for that length of an assignment.

My manager, for whom I have no witty nickname, approached my cubicle a little later and confirmed that I was being let go because there was "no more work" for me and indirectly apologized for the short notice by alluding to the fact that things had been "crazy" around there. I was a bit confused at this point as things certainly looked "crazy" for Bipolar who still seemed bogged down with work. Curiously enough, when I called my recruiter at the end of the day, her version of the story was that during a budget meeting, my manager discovered that she had less to work with than she thought. So I was therefore the "odd temp out". I'm more inclined to believe the recruiter.

While I was disappointed, I also was a bit relieved. The reason why I call Bipolar "Bipolar" is that one day she could be friendly, even chummy, but the next day, or even the next moment, she could go from hot to cold, especially if a mistake was made (by myself or others) that seemed to inconvenience her. Nonetheless, I was determined to make the best of my last three days.

By about noon on Wednesday, I had finished my latest task and Bipolar suggested that I go to lunch. And so I did. Five minutes later, she comes over with a new task she asked for me to complete before she returned from lunch herself. Wanting to keep the instructions fresh in my mind, I interrupt my lunch to finish the task which took about a half hour. I then return to eating lunch and surfing the 'Net in my cubicle, keeping an eye and ear out for Bipolar, who usually returns to to her office by going by my desk. Time had admittedly slipped away and around 1:45, Bipolar popped up on me mid-surf and asked if I was still on lunch. I responded that I had completed the assignment she gave me during lunch, thinking she'd catch the hint that I had literally nothing else to do beyond working on my thumb-twiddling skills. Instead, she admonished me loudly in front of my other cube-mates, advising me to account for the "extra" break time on my timesheet. So basically because of her own lack of efficiency, I was going to loose a quarter hour's worth of pay. At that point, I was through with being friendly, through with being proactive... I was just through.

Fast forward (I wish I could have at the time) to Friday afternoon when I'm packing up my things. Everyone in the department was polite to cordial as I exchanged goodbyes with them. Bipolar had stepped out to the kitchen area next door which I was thinking was probably for the best. But when she returned and saw me put my jacket on, I figured I could be professional and endure ten seconds of mild discomfort... except that she proceeded to go into the office of an associate and shut the door behind her. That pretty much summed up our working relationship in a nutshell.

In retrospect, Cathy helped me to see that Bipolar definitely had some issues that she projected onto me. She definitely reminded me of a certain family member who deflected responsibilty, albeit less brazenly, for her own mistakes regarding me. It may have been that inefficiency - and perhaps inability to show quantifiable results to my manager, that caused Bipolar to lose her help just when she may have needed it the most. If there is truly such a thing as karma, it hit her at the beginning of this week as I know that Bipolar had to deal with the annual arrival of the auditors without anyone to offload work on or to assist her.

At least Robocop managed to loosen up over the last couple weeks, greeting me with a smile and a "What's up, Man?" virtually every morning. He's so anxious to jump ship himself, the client may be lucky to get three days' notice themselves.

Ironically, I found out that White Chocolate grew up in the area where Cathy and I used to live, graduating from the neighborhood high school. It's too bad I didn't get to know him a little better. Not only could we have compared notes on the past and present in his old 'hood, I also think him and the similarly large lady I saw in one of his desk pictures may have enjoyed attending a NAAFA fundraiser.

I got along with Ho Chi Minh the best, but then he gets along with everyone well. He'll be the one most likely to get a permanent job there... until, of course, they pull the rug out from under him like they did for me. I do hope that he finds the man of his dreams, though.

I'll miss working for a company whose cause I believed in. I'll miss the prestige, such as it is, of working in downtown DC just a few blocks from the White House. And, of course, I'll miss the paycheck. I definitely won't miss the longer commute, albeit still short by DC standards. I won't miss working a half-hour longer than my previous job which, combined with the commute, made my evenings a lot shorter.

And, needless to I won't miss Bipolar's crazy @$$.

"The answer, my friend
Is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind...."

The Canine Chronicles Vol.2

Case Study #2:

NOELLE

aka Slash, Zombie, Ma Barker and @#$%^!

(Yes, that last one is the same as Buster!)

This tough lady Boston Terrier would probably be at home wearing a gasoline attendant shirt with tattoos on her arm and a cigarette dangling out of her mouth. She's never met a female quadriped - canine or feline - that she didn't try to hump. The one exception to her machisma is her fear of heights, a condition I was reminded of at least twice a day at walking time.

############

Regardless of how I poke fun at these two dogs, I'm glad we had the opportunity to make the best of a tough situation. I like to think that we provided a bridge for them to their next permanent home, even if it isn't necessarily the one that they are in now.

The Canine Chronicles Vol.1

(Editor's Note: I'm a little late with this series of blogs but the aforementioned job assignment literally drained the life out of me. But anywho...)


Two of the living legacies of Cathy's dearly departed Aunt Beth were our houseguests for six weeks of fun and games. Our cats, being the hospitable felines they were, conceded all but the back of the master bedroom closet and sometimes the guest room bed to the dogs so they could maximize their comfort zone. Between the warm reception I was receiving at work and the cute antics of these critters, excitement was always just around the corner. In fact, it usually was.



Here is Case Study #1:

BUSTER

aka Toto, Benji, Lil' Scrappy, McScruffy and @#$^%!

We discovered recently that this little guy is a Chihuahua-Yorkie mix... or, as we like to call him, a "Chihuakie" (Chee-WAH-kee)... not to be confused with a town in Wisconsin. ;) Don't let the innocent look fool you. He's never met a trash can he hasn't bonded with. But he is an aspiring optometrist as he will literally get "eye-to-eye" with you. Also when taking him for a walk, he is the one more likely to walk in a sensible direction (i.e. not wrap himself around a pole).